[Scene: Darkened room, couple in bed, apparently asleep.]

[Loud Crash]

Suzy:    Was that a dream, or... Mike, are you awake?

Mike:    [Not awake]

         Uh, yeah, of course...

Suzy:                       Well, then, for heaven's sake

         Just tell me - did you hear a giant crash?

         It sounded like a semi going smash

         Into a tree.

Mike:                  Uh, no.  At least I don't

         Think so.  It probably was a nightmare.  Won't

         You quiet down?   You know you need your rest.

[Brenda waltzes in.]

Suzy:    And what's that?  An imaginary guest?

Brenda:

[startled by Mike's presence - had only expected to find Suzy]

         Oh my.  Oh dear.  Say - who the hell are you?.

[turning to Suzy]

         I hear you need a kidney.  Is it true?

Mike:    Another of your charming, quirky friends?

Suzy:    No.

Brenda:      No.  Ours is a bond that quite transcends

         Mere friendship.  How do you do.  I'm Brenda.

Mike:    When you spoke of your friends, you didn't list her.

Suzy:    She's not my friend.  She's just my sister.

Brenda:  Anyway, I've had a fender bender

         Outside with a large immovable object.

Suzy:    What are you doing here?

Brenda:                             Don't change the subject.

         My car, as I was saying -

Suzy:                               Your irresistible force

         For once has met its match?

Brenda:                               Of course.

         Long ago.  On that unremembered morning,

         When Mama brought me home from being born,

         And without warning told me

     [imitates Mother's voice:]

                                       This is Suzy!

         She's your Sis!

     [shrugs ironically]

                          Well, babies can't be choosy.

Suzy:    Speaking of mother... is that how you heard?

Brenda:  It is.

Suzy:         God damn it, she gave me her word.

         I trusted her.  Now see how she repays me.

Brenda:  Honestly, Susan, sometimes you amaze me.

         You spill out your guts with a secret like that

         And expect her to keep it safe under her hat?

Suzy:    I had to talk to someone!

Brenda:                             So did she.

         And as it turned out, her someone was me.

Suzy:    Why you?

Brenda:           Why me?  Because her flesh and blood

         Brought forth my own.

Suzy:                           But don't you think she could

         Find someone else?

Brenda:                      Find someone else whose genes

         Just happen to be like yours?  And by what means

         Would that have happened?  The test results are clear.

         I'm an ideal donor for you, my dear.

Suzy:    What is this?  Get out.  Get out of my sight.

Brenda:  I offer my flesh.   But you want to fight.

Mike:    Darling, please wait.  Did you hear what she said?

Suzy:    Take a kidney from her?  I'd rather be dead.

Mike:    Don't say that!

Suzy:                    Why not?  It's simply a fact.

Brenda:  Oh, really?   Let's see if that claim can be backed

         With substance.  Let's suppose I'd driven faster

         Into that tree - and died in the disaster,

         Bashing my brains to bits in the collision

         But leaving my kidneys intact.  Would your decision

         Not be inclined to change in such a case?

Suzy:    Of course it would.  I wouldn't have to face

         Your living breathing self with gratitude.

         Your death would leave me far more latitude

         About accepting anything of value

         From your estate.  There'd be no need to hail you

         As one who helped me out.  There'd be no sanction

         Of your disgusting views.  But this distinction

         Is totally irrelevant.  You breathe.

         Your walk.  You talk.  You live and clearly seethe

         With deep resentment of my righteous ways.

Brenda:  [pulls pistol from purse]

         Then let's suppose I take this gun and raise

         It to my temples and squeeze off a shot

         Into my head with lead that's hard and hot

         Scrambling the cells to hell within my brain,

         And dropping dead right here.  Would you disdain

         To take my kidney then?

Suzy:                             Please!  Just go ahead!

         I'll gladly take your kidney once you're dead!

Mike:    [Standing in front of Brenda, with his hand out]

         Give me that thing!

         [She gives it to him.]

                              I swear, I don't know who

         Is the crazier one of the two - you or you?

         But one thing's a clear and objective fact:

         I see you're sisters from the way you act!

Brenda:  What?

Suzy:    [Overlapping or in unison with Brenda]

              What?

Mike:                 You fight like children, full of spite,

         Ready to die for the right to be right.

         Would someone tell me what this fight's ABOUT?

Suzy:    There's no need, Mike, to scream or shout.

         Calm down, and let's discuss this rationally.

         This conflict started internationally,

         And it's too late for you to intervene.

Mike:    Internationally?  What do you mean?

Brenda:  It started with some trade negotiations

         Between the U.S. and some other nations.

Mike:    [with sarcasm]

         Oh.  That makes sense.

Brenda:                         Well, in a way it does.

         Follow it through.  The heated question was:

Suzy:    Should we or shouldn't we trade with countries where

         Man's rights are trampled on the public square?

Mike:    [Indicating first Brenda and then Suzy]

         I take it you said yes and you said no.

Brenda:  Well, yes.   And then she told me where to go.

Suzy:    If you support raw tyranny, you should

         Emigrate elsewhere!

Brenda:                         Suzy, if you would

         Just listen for a second -

Suzy:                                Oh, I'll listen!

Mike:    Wait a minute, please.  I think I'm missin'

         The point of this stuff.

Brenda:  [to Suzy]

                                    Boycotts don't succeed!

Suzy:    [to Brenda]

         Sometimes they do.

Brenda:                      To make them work you need

         A lot of countries joining in your effort.

         And when you do succeed the ones who get hurt

         Are the poor people - not the ones who lead.

Suzy:    Until the people, rich and poor together,

         Revolt against oppression of their rights,

         It doesn't really make much difference whether

         Our cash makes slight improvements to their plights.

         We send a stronger message when we say:

         No trade until the slavery goes away!

         No goods until the rights of man hold sway!

Brenda:  Evading facts of economic science,

         You glory in the spirit of defiance

         And spout forth  speeches in your own defense,

         Loaded with rhetoric, but light on sense.

Suzy:    [Overlapping with last 3 verse-lines

         of Brenda's.]

         Evading, huh?  I'd say your own cognition

         Is in a sorry state, and its condition

         Is proof of your inadequate volition.

Mike:   [Loudly interrupting]

         QUIET!

        [Pause]

                Okay.  So nuclear family fission

         Explodes again before my very eyes.

         And I must tell you, much to my surprise,

         That I've enjoyed your fireworks display.

         I even think - though this is hard to say -

         That somehow both you girls enjoyed it too.

Suzy:    You call me "girl?"

Mike:                         You're acting like one, Sue.

Suzy:    You think I get enjoyment out of this?

Mike:    Well, if you don't, then something's much amiss!

         You both debate with marvelous facility,

         And in your exercise of this ability

         You both deserve to take your share of pride.

         [to Suzy]

         But who will you debate with once you've died?

         [to Brenda]

         And as for you, my charitable Brenda,

         You're very sweet for offering to lend a

         Spare kidney to your sister.  But I ask

         Is this any way to accomplish your task?

Brenda:  I've offered all I can. What do you mean?

Mike:    I mean the way you engineered this scene.

         The car crash and gun were both fine melodrama.

         They made me sit up.  But emotional trauma

         Is something that Suzy's had plenty of lately.

         I think it might help to approach more sedately.

Brenda:  I got my points across.

Mike:                              Yes, quite conclusively.

         But did you have to do it so intrusively?

Brenda:  I'm only trying to help.

Mike:                              Do more than try.

         Do what needs doing.  That's in short supply.

         Instead of storming out in clouds of glory

         Append a happy ending to the story.

         Stretch yourself beyond this flashy role.

         Gently reach and grasp your living goal.

         Make up with her.  I cannot tell you how

         To do it, but I think you'll know.  So now

         I'll leave you two alone to sort it out.

         My being here, I fear, leads you to shout

         Each other down, as if I were a judge

         Who'll settle this while neither of you budge.

         Forget about proving your virtuous cases.

         Reveal, instead, your secret inner faces.

[Mike leaves.]

Brenda:  He's quite a guy.

Suzy:                       He is.  He somehow keeps me

         Honest when the force of passion sweeps me

         Into a storm of clouded claims that lack

         Full correspondence with the world of fact.

         He does it with some tact, but he insists

         I bear in mind that what exists, exists

         Regardless of my wrath.

Brenda:                             Why do we fight?

Suzy:    Because we care.

Brenda:                   You mean, who's wrong or right?

Suzy:    No.  More than that.  We care about each other.

         We share so much.

Brenda:                     We got it from our mother.

Suzy:    No.  More than that.  From growing side by side

         So close we barely knew how to divide

         Brenda from Suzy.

Brenda:                     Remember how I used

         To borrow your clothes even when you refused

         To lend them to me?  And how I excused

         Myself?

Suzy:             You said my clothes were merely waiting

         To be passed down to you.  And liberating

         Them early from my closet was no crime,

         But just a way of accelerating time.

Brenda:  I'm sure that must have been infuriating,

         The way I treated your clothes like my own.

Suzy:    And yet I found, when I was fully grown

         And moved away, whenever I misplaced

         An article of clothing, my thoughts raced

         First to the hypothesis that you

         Had sneaked it from my closet - though I knew

         That was impossible - but still the notion

         Of your hidden presence filled me with emotion

         Quite bittersweet.

Brenda:                     Is that a tear I see?

Suzy:    You understand there is no guarantee?

Brenda:  Of what?

Suzy:             No guarantee my body will

         Accept your gift, no certainty until...

Brenda:  Until we try. But all the tests looked good.

         And all the doctors told me that you would

         Live longer and more fully with as near

         A match as we can get.

Suzy:                            Still I'll have merely

         So-so health.  And you'll be left with only

         One kidney.

Brenda:              I fear it will be lonely

         Unless you promise that you'll let it visit

         Quite often with its former roommate.  Is it

         Too much to ask?

Suzy:                      Brenda, I'm terrified.

Brenda:  Who wouldn't be?

Suzy:                      I'm doing my best to hide

         My fear.

Brenda:            Forget it.  This is me.  I know.

         You could never hide from me.

Suzy:    [Choking with emotion]

                                        Just so.

[Slowly, tentatively, Suzy reaches her hand out.

Brenda responds by taking her hand.

Pause.]

Brenda:  Living is good, even without full health.

         And every day we love is a form of wealth.

Suzy:    [Swallowing hard, regaining poise.]

         And when it's time to talk about great nations

         Let's leave them out of our own trade relations.

         After all, the reason that we fight

         Is that we want each other to be right

         So that we can stand together in the light!

Brenda:  And when we feel like hurling accusations?

Suzy:    Let's hurl away!  But let us not forget

         We're simply giving voice to our frustrations

         And don't mean all we say - or better yet

         Let's hurl something else!

Brenda:                              Let's hurl a hug.

         For sometimes it's better to hug than to shrug!

[They embrace.]

CURTAIN

Special thanks to Nell Robinson for her script critique and to Michael Landman for directorial assistance.  Finally, thanks to Peter Saint-Andre for featuring it on his Monadnock.net site.